[ there’s a heat pricking at his stomach at the sight of daan licking his fingers clean, cloud watching as he swallows down rivulets of his cum. but then daan answers his question, and cloud’s hand clasps around his, holding it in place. ]
…No. [ he mutters into his skin, voice still hushed. ] I’m…
I’m… glad.
[ as if correcting what he said earlier: ]
I don’t… only think about you in that way. You know that, right?
Can't blame me for that considering our circumstances, can you?
[It's probably a cheap answer, he realizes. But he doesn't want to bring up everything else weighing on his mind; it seems so unfair to do it now, in a moment on vulnerability for Cloud.]
You're really quite protective, aren't you? ...But thank you. I'm... still not used to that, really.
[It means more than he is willing to say right now. How it makes him think a bit about Elise, and... why was that so different?]
...Well, I can't argue that. It's been nice being able to shower and have actual full meals.
[The suggestion makes Daan stiffen slightly. That couldn't be right, Elise was just... bold and cunning. It wasn't wrong, just different. Surely, that...
The stories he would tell about his early life with his parents would endlessly amuse her, and he would chase for that attention. Marina and Cloud were nothing but gentle with him, though, and that confuses him, it comforts him, that couldn't be right.]
It's not as if I can ever ask them now, anyway.
Edited (too many wells aghshkfh) 2024-02-08 01:21 (UTC)
Weird to not be fighting. My body isn't used to not moving so much.
[ he notes it; the way's body goes more rigid, taut with tension. he must have said the wrong thing. reluctantly, he reaches out to brush his fingers against his shoulder. ]
Now that I'd like to see. I'm sure someone around here can teach you how to knit a scarf, huh?
[Though Daan starts to stand up, he hesitates briefly after that's said. He turns his head slightly toward the door.]
Oh, I think I have some clue.
[How couldn't he by now? And it's not as if Daan's any better. If he was a good or decent man, he'd have done something about this by now. Instead, it drags along, until either all of his underbelly is exposed or the clutches of a wicked cat sinks his claws into Daan.]
...I'll be waiting out here for you. Take your time.
[ he doesn’t know want to make of that. daan leaves and cloud swims through his thoughts, sinking in his own insecurity. was it a rejection? or an affirmation that he felt the same way? was he humoring him — doing this all out of pity?
cloud emerges, clad in his outfit from before. the corset and panties are draped over his arm. a hand grasps at daan’s shoulder, grip a tad stronger than usual, beckoning his attention. ]
…Hey. [ his voice is firm, low. ] …Did you…want to see each other again?
[The question genuinely surprises him; Daan had thought he was being fairly polite, though if perhaps restrained. The grip is also strong, perhaps telling that Cloud is worried or upset.
Daan reaches up, placing is hand over Cloud's.]
I do. [That's the problem, isn't it? He does want to see Cloud again; he likes their time together, when he shouldn't.]
[ this wasn’t the time to be having this conversation. he knows this. they both know this. he doesn’t want to ask the million dollar question outright, the “what are we?” — if they were having sex and leaving it at that, it’d be one thing. but the hand holding, the kisses, these dates; not even he’s stupid enough to deny what’s going on. ]
…Don’t want to mess things up.
[ it’s already too late for that. whatever happens from here and onward won’t phase out easily. maybe that’s what terrifies him, too. ]
[He knows. It would've been one thing if this was more casual, or if Daan had been smart about keeping Cloud at arm's length. However, that's not how it's turned out; he sees the parts that fascinate him, that make him feel cared for. Safe, in some respects. Did he ever feel actually safe in the von Dutch estate?
There are too many things he is questioning now. He shouldn't, he can't. This would be almost easier if the fucking cat would just come in with his sickeningly sweet voice and offer his rotten deal.]
...We're human. We will make mistakes. Hell, I've got plenty I've made.
Just don't be a dick about it and we can work it out.
[ he doesn’t believe it is — not entirely. but he’s fond of that part of daan, too; the way he manages to make it all seem so simple, even when they know it isn’t. ]
…Fine. [ he resigns in that characteristically bratty little way. ] You sure you’re okay? You don’t need me to go back to your place with you?
[It's already complicated, though. It's been complicated and it will only get more complicated. When is ever a good time to put an end to it for Cloud's own good? Hell if he knows.
Gently, he squeezes Cloud's hand.]
Well, you don't need to, but you're welcome to come along.
[ neither of them are saying what they’re really thinking, and he’s aware of that on some level. it’s fine. they didn’t need to talk about it. he could have this for now — just be content with what daan’s giving him. ignore that selfish impulse that’s telling him he wants more.
his head pivots up, the rush of warmth to his hand returning him to reality. and then he squeezes his hand back with some shyness. ]
Your place, huh. We could… do something. [ a beat before he corrects himself– ] Not sex, I mean. [ uh. ] Just… hang around. Do what people do.
[It feels cruel, letting it hang in the air like this. If he was better -- more disciplined, smarter, a good man -- he'd have done it. But he holds on, gathering what bit of enjoyment he can afford before it slips through his fingers like sand.
Right now, he lets his hand settle in Cloud's.]
Sure. We can do that.
Don't really have much there, but I can at least fix us a drink or something.
That genuinely catches him off guard; he still isn't used to being flustered about this kind of thing, but he does feel heat creeping up onto his face. How the hell did Cloud accidentally get to be smooth for like one second?
Clearing his throat, Daan glances away.]
...Well. Sounds like that will work, then. Wonderful.
[Anyway! Daan will just get their various lingerie and call that a day.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
…No. [ he mutters into his skin, voice still hushed. ] I’m…
I’m… glad.
[ as if correcting what he said earlier: ]
I don’t… only think about you in that way. You know that, right?
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I know. With you... I'm not worried about that.
[No, he has other things he is much more concerned about. This... whatever kind of bond they have going on, that's much more worrisome.]
In fact, you're very stubborn about making sure I'm treated right.
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[ maybe he’s just — insecure, but the phrasing doesn’t evade him entirely. his grip on his hand tightens, a thumb sweeping over his skin. ]
…You’ve dealt with enough. I don’t want a repeat of that.
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[It's probably a cheap answer, he realizes. But he doesn't want to bring up everything else weighing on his mind; it seems so unfair to do it now, in a moment on vulnerability for Cloud.]
You're really quite protective, aren't you? ...But thank you. I'm... still not used to that, really.
[It means more than he is willing to say right now. How it makes him think a bit about Elise, and... why was that so different?]
no subject
[ he takes it at face value, even though he’s fully aware plenty could go wrong. he’s half expecting sephiroth to appear at any given moment now. ]
…Hmph. [ the equivalent to an “i guess”. ] Maybe… the people you knew didn’t do right by you, then.
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[The suggestion makes Daan stiffen slightly. That couldn't be right, Elise was just... bold and cunning. It wasn't wrong, just different. Surely, that...
The stories he would tell about his early life with his parents would endlessly amuse her, and he would chase for that attention. Marina and Cloud were nothing but gentle with him, though, and that confuses him, it comforts him, that couldn't be right.]It's not as if I can ever ask them now, anyway.
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[ he notes it; the way's body goes more rigid, taut with tension. he must have said the wrong thing. reluctantly, he reaches out to brush his fingers against his shoulder. ]
...You alright?
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[The touch earns a glance, then Daan offers a faint smile.]
...I'll be fine.
Anyway. We should get some things we've picked out, hm? [Daan leans in, gently kissing his cheek.] I can let you get dressed.
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[ the kiss to his cheek makes him dissolve; how could touches this simple, this gentle, render him into putty every time without fail. ]
You... [ a sigh, before he admits: ] really have no idea what you do to me, huh.
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[Though Daan starts to stand up, he hesitates briefly after that's said. He turns his head slightly toward the door.]
Oh, I think I have some clue.
[How couldn't he by now? And it's not as if Daan's any better. If he was a good or decent man, he'd have done something about this by now. Instead, it drags along, until either all of his underbelly is exposed or the clutches of a wicked cat sinks his claws into Daan.]
...I'll be waiting out here for you. Take your time.
no subject
cloud emerges, clad in his outfit from before. the corset and panties are draped over his arm. a hand grasps at daan’s shoulder, grip a tad stronger than usual, beckoning his attention. ]
…Hey. [ his voice is firm, low. ] …Did you…want to see each other again?
[ or did he fumble this? ]
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Daan reaches up, placing is hand over Cloud's.]
I do. [That's the problem, isn't it? He does want to see Cloud again; he likes their time together, when he shouldn't.]
I didn't mean to imply otherwise.
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[ this wasn’t the time to be having this conversation. he knows this. they both know this. he doesn’t want to ask the million dollar question outright, the “what are we?” — if they were having sex and leaving it at that, it’d be one thing. but the hand holding, the kisses, these dates; not even he’s stupid enough to deny what’s going on. ]
…Don’t want to mess things up.
[ it’s already too late for that. whatever happens from here and onward won’t phase out easily. maybe that’s what terrifies him, too. ]
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[He knows. It would've been one thing if this was more casual, or if Daan had been smart about keeping Cloud at arm's length. However, that's not how it's turned out; he sees the parts that fascinate him, that make him feel cared for. Safe, in some respects. Did he ever feel actually safe in the von Dutch estate?
There are too many things he is questioning now. He shouldn't, he can't. This would be almost easier if the fucking cat would just come in with his sickeningly sweet voice and offer his rotten deal.]
...We're human. We will make mistakes. Hell, I've got plenty I've made.
Just don't be a dick about it and we can work it out.
no subject
[ he doesn’t believe it is — not entirely. but he’s fond of that part of daan, too; the way he manages to make it all seem so simple, even when they know it isn’t. ]
…Fine. [ he resigns in that characteristically bratty little way. ] You sure you’re okay? You don’t need me to go back to your place with you?
no subject
[It's already complicated, though. It's been complicated and it will only get more complicated. When is ever a good time to put an end to it for Cloud's own good? Hell if he knows.
Gently, he squeezes Cloud's hand.]
Well, you don't need to, but you're welcome to come along.
no subject
[ neither of them are saying what they’re really thinking, and he’s aware of that on some level. it’s fine. they didn’t need to talk about it. he could have this for now — just be content with what daan’s giving him. ignore that selfish impulse that’s telling him he wants more.
his head pivots up, the rush of warmth to his hand returning him to reality. and then he squeezes his hand back with some shyness. ]
Your place, huh. We could… do something. [ a beat before he corrects himself– ] Not sex, I mean. [ uh. ] Just… hang around. Do what people do.
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Right now, he lets his hand settle in Cloud's.]
Sure. We can do that.
Don't really have much there, but I can at least fix us a drink or something.
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[ he did not mean to turn the rizz on, it kind of just came out like that. ]
Won’t say no to a free drink though.
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That genuinely catches him off guard; he still isn't used to being flustered about this kind of thing, but he does feel heat creeping up onto his face. How the hell did Cloud accidentally get to be smooth for like one second?
Clearing his throat, Daan glances away.]
...Well. Sounds like that will work, then. Wonderful.
[Anyway! Daan will just get their various lingerie and call that a day.]