[ She sighs, staring off into some empty corner of the restaurant's dark interior, face pinched. ]
I know, but...not for now.
[ She doesn't like thinking about it either. Will it all be like that first time, but...with people she doesn't feel okay about like Cloud? Will it make her want people she doesn't? How is she going to find a way for her first time be, well, okay?
And what about him? He's...well. Delicate. Not everyone is going to be patient and gentle like she is. She doesn't want him being overtaxed and, and...
She bites her lip when he brings up that night. Was that...so bad for him? She really...wouldn't have minded, outside their patron. ]
You too, okay? I'm not that delicate, Cloud. [ It comes out colder and snappier than she means. ] I just ... I've lived in the city on my own for a long time. I can handle myself, okay? You don't have to worry.
[ She wishes he didn't know she was a virgin so she could just lie and say she knew what she was doing. Maybe that was why he hadn't wanted to--
She can't think like that. They're here as friends. They're here to spend time together. Why does it feel like they're fighting? ]
I didn't meant to get my nose in anything. I just meant, if you were, or if you do find someone...it's okay to keep good people close, even if it's here, okay? I'm glad you found someone worthwhile, whatever they are to you. I won't push into your private life. That's your business.
[ She hates the way she skates over his compliment, the way it sticks in her stomach and makes her eyes feel tight. Maybe this hadn't been a good idea. Maybe she wasn't ready for this. Which is ridiculous. She had no claim on Cloud. She barely knew him, really. ]
no subject
I know, but...not for now.
[ She doesn't like thinking about it either. Will it all be like that first time, but...with people she doesn't feel okay about like Cloud? Will it make her want people she doesn't? How is she going to find a way for her first time be, well, okay?
And what about him? He's...well. Delicate. Not everyone is going to be patient and gentle like she is. She doesn't want him being overtaxed and, and...
She bites her lip when he brings up that night. Was that...so bad for him? She really...wouldn't have minded, outside their patron. ]
You too, okay? I'm not that delicate, Cloud. [ It comes out colder and snappier than she means. ] I just ... I've lived in the city on my own for a long time. I can handle myself, okay? You don't have to worry.
[ She wishes he didn't know she was a virgin so she could just lie and say she knew what she was doing. Maybe that was why he hadn't wanted to--
She can't think like that. They're here as friends. They're here to spend time together. Why does it feel like they're fighting? ]
I didn't meant to get my nose in anything. I just meant, if you were, or if you do find someone...it's okay to keep good people close, even if it's here, okay? I'm glad you found someone worthwhile, whatever they are to you. I won't push into your private life. That's your business.
[ She hates the way she skates over his compliment, the way it sticks in her stomach and makes her eyes feel tight. Maybe this hadn't been a good idea. Maybe she wasn't ready for this. Which is ridiculous. She had no claim on Cloud. She barely knew him, really. ]