[ his eyes flicker up to look at her -- he should be...relieved that she doesn't want to play. that she isn't thinking of other people. but, despite everything, despite that horribly jealous and insecure nature of his, the part of him that's worried for her wins out. ]
I... [ he thinks back -- on what reno said. the words have burrowed into his brain, knocking back against his skull. ] I think... we're gonna have to. Whether we like it or not.
[ he hates talking about this. it takes him back to that first night they had together: a nightmare, a dream, the reality that they're faced with. that was the first lesson they had learned here: this game would spare no one.
but even that aside, he can't shake the thought: the idea that they have to go back home. that things are only going to get worse. he can't tell her that. so cloud swallows thickly, eyes roaming, darting away as he sets his fork down. ]
I... [ he starts -- and then he stops. ] Never mind. Just... be careful, okay? It doesn't...
It doesn't... have to be like that night.
[ he's such a fucking idiot. this was supposed to be a good time, and here he is ruining it. and then she's squeezing his hand, and he realizes the implication of what she's saying, startling and flushing and looking away. ]
He and I-- We aren't like that. [ the shame that bubbles to the surface isn't because he's a man, no. it's because this shouldn't be happening at all. ] He's been nice to me, that's all. I just-- I don't know. I didn't think anyone here would be worth talking to aside from you.
no subject
[ his eyes flicker up to look at her -- he should be...relieved that she doesn't want to play. that she isn't thinking of other people. but, despite everything, despite that horribly jealous and insecure nature of his, the part of him that's worried for her wins out. ]
I... [ he thinks back -- on what reno said. the words have burrowed into his brain, knocking back against his skull. ] I think... we're gonna have to. Whether we like it or not.
[ he hates talking about this. it takes him back to that first night they had together: a nightmare, a dream, the reality that they're faced with. that was the first lesson they had learned here: this game would spare no one.
but even that aside, he can't shake the thought: the idea that they have to go back home. that things are only going to get worse. he can't tell her that. so cloud swallows thickly, eyes roaming, darting away as he sets his fork down. ]
I... [ he starts -- and then he stops. ] Never mind. Just... be careful, okay? It doesn't...
It doesn't... have to be like that night.
[ he's such a fucking idiot. this was supposed to be a good time, and here he is ruining it. and then she's squeezing his hand, and he realizes the implication of what she's saying, startling and flushing and looking away. ]
He and I-- We aren't like that. [ the shame that bubbles to the surface isn't because he's a man, no. it's because this shouldn't be happening at all. ] He's been nice to me, that's all. I just-- I don't know. I didn't think anyone here would be worth talking to aside from you.