[ His eyes train on her, bright and sparkling, and for a moment she forgets to breathe. For a moment, she sees him as fifteen, looking at her like she's the first person he's ever seen, and then he's in that room again, naked and wide-eyed and calling her beautiful.
Then he looks away, deflating like a spooked cat. The space between her eyes feels tight. She wants to reach for him, wants to explain he means so much to her, and she just doesn't know how to talk to him, but what would that do? This isn't a date, and she's just insulted him.
Why is this so much harder than it is with anyone else? Is it just because they give her a pass because she's pretty? Maybe he's the only person who knows she's socially awkward, him and maybe Jessie.
Jessie, who's--
His voice is lighter when he speaks again. The effect is near instant, the dread seeping out her dislodging into a fluttery smile. Okay. He's trying. He's joking even.
It's ten seconds of blissful ease before his expression goes cold. She wants to bury her face in her hands, cold tension clamping around her shoulders. Why does this keep happening? Why does she always say the wrong thing? How is she supposed to think straight with this whiplash of emotions. Her brow furrows, expression dropping as she searched for what to even say. It was okay. I was okay. Because she wasn't, and she didn't want to lie to him.
She doesn't want him this rattled either, especially on her account. She bumps his foot under the table again, even as she wants to smooth her hand over his. Even as she wants to be on that side of the booth with him and curl her head against his neck and thank him for caring when no one else did. ]
You are here, so it's not happening again. And I'm better at making friends this time, so you don't have to worry about me.
[ Even if she really, really liked that he worried about her. Even if it's easier to think about that than the unease at how intense he can be.
Then the waitress is back, and Tifa has to duck behind her menu to keep Cloud from seeing her amused smile at just how blunt he is. He's always been like this. Jumpy, a little rude without meaning to be. And it's easier to laugh at that than ache about how much it hurt to see him hurting about her. ]
I want something spicy to start. Does that work for you, Cloud?
[ She can't remember what he ate. It's not something she paid attention to back then, other than she didn't remember him refusing food. But this was both their money. They should both enjoy it. ]
And bartender's favorite drink, top shelf whatever it takes. Tell them they're impressing a fellow bartender.
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Then he looks away, deflating like a spooked cat. The space between her eyes feels tight. She wants to reach for him, wants to explain he means so much to her, and she just doesn't know how to talk to him, but what would that do? This isn't a date, and she's just insulted him.
Why is this so much harder than it is with anyone else? Is it just because they give her a pass because she's pretty? Maybe he's the only person who knows she's socially awkward, him and maybe Jessie.
Jessie, who's--
His voice is lighter when he speaks again. The effect is near instant, the dread seeping out her dislodging into a fluttery smile. Okay. He's trying. He's joking even.
It's ten seconds of blissful ease before his expression goes cold. She wants to bury her face in her hands, cold tension clamping around her shoulders. Why does this keep happening? Why does she always say the wrong thing? How is she supposed to think straight with this whiplash of emotions. Her brow furrows, expression dropping as she searched for what to even say. It was okay. I was okay. Because she wasn't, and she didn't want to lie to him.
She doesn't want him this rattled either, especially on her account. She bumps his foot under the table again, even as she wants to smooth her hand over his. Even as she wants to be on that side of the booth with him and curl her head against his neck and thank him for caring when no one else did. ]
You are here, so it's not happening again. And I'm better at making friends this time, so you don't have to worry about me.
[ Even if she really, really liked that he worried about her. Even if it's easier to think about that than the unease at how intense he can be.
Then the waitress is back, and Tifa has to duck behind her menu to keep Cloud from seeing her amused smile at just how blunt he is. He's always been like this. Jumpy, a little rude without meaning to be. And it's easier to laugh at that than ache about how much it hurt to see him hurting about her. ]
I want something spicy to start. Does that work for you, Cloud?
[ She can't remember what he ate. It's not something she paid attention to back then, other than she didn't remember him refusing food. But this was both their money. They should both enjoy it. ]
And bartender's favorite drink, top shelf whatever it takes. Tell them they're impressing a fellow bartender.